The Firetable Really Is A Table With A Shooting Flame

Raven 04-30-2007

Although it pretty much summer time we could do without causin more heat in our homes, but this is pretty cool.

Lord, how we love this accident-waiting-to-happen piece of furniture! It’s your everyday coffee table, but with the added twist of having a flame spout off from the middle. (Does a flame, technically, ever “spout off”?) It’s made from reconstituted limestone aggregate, which is presumably fireproof, and it uses an alcohol-based gel as its burning fuel. This will prevent your home from being covered in soot, and makes extinguishing the flame as easy as sitting on it smothering it with a plate or something.

It’s made by a company called FireTable, but they seem to make a bunch of other burning things, like hearths and mini-burners. The table models seem to start at around £900, and are available now. And I’m a little too tired to think of an appropriate bum-burning joke, so you’re free to make one up yourselves.

Nissa

That would not be useful in texas very much. Also unsafe for kids but very different.

Pussy

Get out the marshmellow and turn the sucker on. We making smores tonight! So who's buying this bad boy?

spawnschickishot

Omg This Table Is Really Kool! They Kinda Sell One 4 Out Side Like This One At Target Its Really Neast To Have Guest Over And Stuff And Chill! I So Like It!

Dream

Hey Pussy, can we sing camp fire songs and tell ghost stories too? I can see someone sueing the company fo burning down their own home.

spawnschickishot

lmfao!! yeah that would be some shit huh campfire songs and ghoststories! lol some ones house is burning and everyone is like what happened omg ! oh well i bought this new table and we were singin g campfire songs and roasting marshmellows in the living room and telling ghost storeis and my house burned down!

Sugarlipz

Looks nice and tempting for Colorado. Not here in Texas and not with two toddlers. :| Makes me want to go skiing and mkae smores!

seximamita

Yeah Have A Guess Over And Burn His Ass

paulyg

Ummm......this doesn't seem like an obvious fire hazard to anybody????
I can see Christmas now.....opennign presents next to the new table....kids playing and tossing the wrapping paper away form tehir newest toy and POOF! The house goes up in flames