Worst ways to get fired

Chello 09-07-2006

You probably have never done a perp walk, been suspected of stealing or been treated as if you were a toxic agent. Yet you may feel like you have if you ever are laid off by a company that practices some of the moves ripped straight from The Corporate Guide to Crazy. The list of dehumanized moves is long and not likely to get shorter in an age where speed, telecommuting, cost cutting, efficiency and assets rather than human capital are king.

Strategy 1: It can be extremely taxing to ruin people's day face to face, so create a little breathing room. Besides e-mail, companies have been known to fire people by FedEx, registered letter, text message, voice mail and conference call.

Strategy 2: Consider the cattle call. It can build team spirit. One company herded employees into an auditorium and gave them one of two color-coded information packets. Those with the same color packets sat together. The two groups were then escorted out of the auditorium through different exits. One led back to the office, which meant that group of employees could stay. The other led to the street, which meant the workers should file for unemployment.

Strategy 3: There is no such thing as "too low." So don't be afraid to test bottom. One option is to let employees figure things out for themselves. One company deliberately left a new organizational chart on the photocopy machines. Some employees were left off entirely, and others were moved to new positions.

Strategy 4: Remember, no one is ever too old to play musical chairs. Some companies in the middle of a merger have asked all employees to resign and reapply for jobs. The goal: to disengage from the old and reinvent the organizational structure - with fewer employees.

Strategy 5: It can be a nice touch when you offer the newly fired a ride home. It actually can be, unless you've organized the corporate equivalent of a funeral procession. One company had cabs lined up around the block before alerting employees on the layoff list of their new jobless status.

Strategy 6: You know what they say: it's always the quiet ones. So make sure the meek don't go ballistic. During a layoff, it's perfectly reasonable for a company to want to protect its computer files, other property and the remaining employees. But bringing in armed guards, as some companies have done, can be completely dehumanizing. An inconspicuously placed plainclothes security person is far preferable, said Lee Miller, a negotiations expert who used to run HR divisions at three companies.

BonitaPajarita

Unfortunately I know how this feels being laid off.

Your heart just sinks.

No fun at all.

Hsoolien

Never been layed off, always quit long before with them wanting me to stay. And now it's even worse with us having more open jobs then people to work them or housing for the people to work them to stay in

Pussy

Jobs here are getting harder and harder to get. I got 2 friends that been looking for work for a while now. Any place that does due hiring seems to be firing just as fast.

Hsoolien

We're suffering one of the hottest job economies in the world, we actually figure in at negative unemployment (we have more jobs them people to work them)

Natalie

Well its not like its a secret but there's been some people at work that been let go. I hate firing, especially after I get to know people.

Hsooly, why are they so many jobs available there. No one wants to work or can work?

BonitaPajarita

From what I heard at my job (since our offices are all over and one major one we deal with is in Canada) the people are leaving there old job and going to another job because pay is good. So its kind of like the cycle here, better higher paying job people will migrate there and then the other jobs are there with many chairs available but no one to fill the seats oppose to the US where the ratio in people verses jobs are different in Canada.

If I am on the right track or on the wrong track let me know, correct me Hsoo.

Hsoolien

We have one of the largest oil deposits in the world under my province (estimated second or third largest supply), it's always been expensive to get at though because of how it's there (in oil sands) recent rise in Oil prices have made it feasible to pull it up now. So all the oil companies are building these huge extraction camps up in the north end of my province, and they need thousands of people each over many years to build and operate these plants. So all of a sudden unskilled labour is in huge need, as is trade labour. You can make double our minimum wage right out of highschool in the oilfield. Go through trade school for 2-4 more years and you make 60-70grand a year. This has had the result of sucking labour out of the service industry (that now offer large bonuses for staying on and pay 20-50% over minimum wage), it's also made for a housing crunch, there are more jobs then there are places for the employees to live, we have seen proprery values double in the last five years.
Some places are shutting down off peak hours (resteraunts, drive throughs etc) because they cannot get the staff, or afford to pay the staff to stay on.